Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Crying Out

I got the news yesterday about my dad. After all this time of following doctors' orders, taking whatever treatments they would offer him, constant visits and tests to monitor whether the cancer in his liver was growing and being told he's doing great, everything's fine...yeah, everything's fine. Meanwhile, it's gone to his hip and weakened the bones so much he fractured it rolling over in bed. And oh, by the way, we didn't bother to tell you that you've had cancer on rib #1 but we're telling you now because it's spread down to #6.

Are you freakin' kidding me?!?! What the hell is wrong with these people?!? How do you NOT tell someone that they've got cancer on their ribs?!? How do you just completely ignore that fact, offer NO treatments whatsoever and act like it's just not there?!? Do you give a flip that THIS IS MY FATHER'S LIFE YOU'RE PLAYING WITH!?!?!?! I already know the answer to that one, and it's a big fat NO, you couldn't possibly care less because he's just some poor, old man who's lived his life. Why waste the time and resources on a 69-year old man on Social Security, right? BECAUSE HE'S A HUMAN BEING, YOU FREAKIN' IDIOTS! Because it's supposed to be your job to do everything in your means to save lives, not HIDE THE TRUTH FOR TWO YEARS! Did you think it would upset him too much to know, or were you just hoping he'd die before anyone found out? Seriously???

I. Hate. Doctors.

I probably shouldn't publish this, but I'm going to. I know this isn't God-honoring or Christ-centered, and I'll be on my knees asking forgiveness at some point. I know I should be thankful that I've got time to prepare, that I was fortunate enough to have that precious time last November with him here, and I am. But right now, I'm just angry. Angry, hurt and crying out to God for sense and reason in all this.


Sweetie Berry said...

I'm walking this walk as well...and my father IS a doctor. God can handle your hurt and I'm here too praying for you

Shawntele said...

I am grieving with you Wendy, so is God. {HUGS} and ✝prayers✝ for you!

Mrs. Stam said...

I'm so sorry about this, I'm giving you a hugs, are you feeling it, virtual hugs are not the same :-(

Nurse Philosopher said...

I'm so sorry for your troubles.

I don't believe for one moment that Jesus requires us to be butter-wouldn't-melt-in-your-mouth *nice* all the time. We are talking about the man who was so angry he threw moneychangers out of the temple.

Your pain and anger is directed at the hurt you & Dad have received, as opposed to just being pissy because you were served wheat toast instead of white. Don't apologize. Ask questions and insist on answers you can understand. You're probably going to need that anger to advocate for Dad in the coming months.

punkinmama said...

WHAT?!? This is ridiculous!

Please tell me you're taking this up with people who can do something! It might be too late for your dad (I pray it's not), but this should NEVER happen to anyone again!

I am so sorry Wendy!

Jen @ One Moms World said...

Oh my goodness... I have been behind and just now catching up. I am so sorry Wendy. Is there anything I can do? I will be praying! Big ((HUGS))!

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