I'm embarrassed that it's already the 10th of January and this is just now my first post of the year. I had better intentions than this. I thought this was the year I'd turn things around and stop looking like such a slacker about everything. But then we all got hit with a stomach bug. Instead of spending January 1st in a flurry of home-organization like I'd intended, I ended up comforting sick children and eventually catching the vile illness myself. And my dear, sweet husband never let on that he had it too until I was finally over the worst of it. He pampered me and nursed me without showing a sign that he was sick as a dog himself. Does it get more loving and devoted than that?
I told myself it was just a minor setback. No reason to think an entire year is blown just because the first week went down the toilet. (Pun intended? You be the judge.) I figured that once I got the mess picked back up (how sick kids can still have the energy to turn every room into a disaster area is beyond me) everything would be right as rain.
What happened after that? Well.....life. It was time to get our seeds started, so I spent a day rearranging our sunroom/dining room into a greenhouse. My three-year old daughter, the lone hold-out, finally decided to join in on PukeFest '11 almost a week after everyone else was done with it. (And why do kids always wait until the middle of the night to get sick? In all my years of parenting, I've yet to discover the answer to that particular mystery.) And if that wasn't enough to de-rail me, the laptop I was just starting to get used to typing on went and died on me. Now I'm back to sitting in the office to use my trusty desktop. (Word to the wise: Acers are terrible laptops. I didn't buy it, my dad did, and I would've stopped him from buying it if I'd known.) And since I have to keep the door closed to prevent little ones from coming in and wreaking havoc with the bookshelves and filing cabinet, and our heat comes from a woodstove in the living room, it gets cold in here. Ever type much with cold fingers? Not. Fun.
And so, I've been wondering...is God trying to tell me something? I believe He is. I don't know the entire lesson He has for me yet, and knowing God the way I do I expect this will take longer than simply a week or a month. It's probably going to be an all-year thing (because, you know, I'm just thick-headed that way.) Judging from the past ten days, I think God is leading me down a path of learning some amazing things. Control is one that comes to mind, as if anything beyond my own attitudes and reactions was mine to control in the first place. Faithfulness is another. Not the kind of faithfulness as if I would ever turn away from God, but faithfulness to press on against setbacks. I admit, I've always been the kind to give up on things if they don't come easily. I can't tell you the number of things (and sadly, relationships) I've given up on or let fall by the wayside over the years because it was easier to let it go then press on against the obstacles. Not exactly a desirable trait for a farmer's wife, homeschool mom, or Christian, is it?
I expect there will be more unexpected surprises in store over the course of the next twelve months. (Lord willing, none of them will involve any more vomiting, thankyouverymuch.) I'm still going to work on re-establishing my organizational prowess. I'm slowly putting together a Home Notebook I've been toying with for too long, and Hubs wants me to create some farm-related spreadsheets to track expenditures, income and such. (Time to dust off my bookkeeping skills from my banker's days.) But one thing I've already learned is this: No matter how good my intentions are, God's are better.
Maybe I won't be such a slow learner this time.