I don't know about you, but I don't make New Year's resolutions. I've always thought it was just another way to set myself up for failure, and really, who needs that kind of self-inflicted pressure? I prefer to set some goals for myself, and then take it one day at a time. If I succeed, fabulous. If I don't, keep trying. So, last week (before New Year's Eve rolled around) I decided on a few goals.
One of my goals is, naturally, to get back in shape. Mary is five months old now, I think that's been plenty long enough for me to put off exercising, thankyouverymuch. I'd lost thirty pounds before I got pregnant last year, and I've gained back twenty of it. (Ugh!) My ultimate goal is to lose at least fifty pounds by the end of the year. With a lot of hard work, I should have fifteen gone by my birthday.
With that in mind, I chose Saturday as my day to boost my routine up from twenty minutes of aerobics to forty.
Oh. My. Word.
I forgot how much squats hurt my thighs! Can you say, "Shaking like a bowl of jelly?"
But I'd forgotten a few other things as well, things I'm glad to be reminded of, despite my weak, quivering muscles. Things like how good it feels to work up that much of a sweat, how much I genuinely enjoy exercising, how proud of myself I can be for not giving up.
And most importantly, that it's okay to love myself.
How did I get that out of a 40-minute workout? Well, the truth is, I haven't been very happy with myself for quite a while now. To say that I haven't liked myself would be putting it mildly. I've spent the past several months alternately depressed and angry with myself, and feeling like a failure. I've been floating through my days with little motivation and even less energy. Most days, it's seemed that the only things I managed to do was keep the kids fed and have my husband's clothes ready for work. (Bonus points if I remembered to set the coffee pot for him.)
It's been hard to remember that there's more to my life than changing diapers, shooing kids off the computer, and wondering for the fifth time in a day what on earth I was going to fix for dinner. Whether it's because we've started a new year or whatever, I don't know, but I think I'm finally getting back to the person I know I am, the woman I know I can be, and the wife and mother my family deserves. Setting goals for myself helps me not only focus my priorities, but remember that being good to myself IS a priority, one that my whole family benefits from.
I don't expect it to be easy (nothing worthwhile is, right?) and I know there are days when I'll fail in spectacular fashion. But that's ok, because every day gives me another chance to work towards my goals.
How about you? Did you make resolutions you're struggling to keep? Or have you set some goals for yourself that you can keep working towards? I'd love to hear your thoughts!