I can't begin to count how many times Eric used to tell me he could see our future children in my eyes; the sweet, little sparks of our son and daughter, Ben and Sarah.
But after Sarah came, I honestly didn't think I'd have any more children. After the toll her delivery took on my body, added to the fact that I'm not getting any younger, well...I just didn't think there would be even one more. And when I asked Eric to tell me if he could still see another child in my eyes, he'd say, "Well....I just don't know."
Ben is, in pretty much every way, the son I'd always wanted. And Sarah seems like the perfect female counterpart for him. Together, they are what I always hoped a brother and sister would be like. They occasionally butt heads with each other, but underneath the childhood veneer of each being their own rather independent person, no matter how many times one might snatch a toy from the other, or go about completely ignoring the existence of the other, down at the heart of it all, where their future selves are being formed, they truly love and care for one another.
So now I'm pregnant with mine and Eric's third child, and I find myself asking the question, "Who are you?" Who is this new life getting ready to make its way into our home? Who is this new person about to take their place in our family?
In the grand scheme of things, I know it really doesn't matter. I'll wonder about it off and on over the next couple of months, but who they are isn't nearly as important as what they are.